Everything you need to know about grooming your hindquarters


Today we are going to talk about ass grooming. Yes, taking care of your rear end: All those things that involve making your rear end as comfortable, smooth and fresh as possible. Why? Because, well, wouldn’t you want your butt to be the most comfortable, smooth and cool? We don’t tell you have to remove hair or even buff it with a scrub, but you can do all of that if you want, and we’ll tell you how. We just want to shed some light on undercarriage maintenance, so you know what options are available to you. So that you have all the tools you need in your assnal, if you will. Here’s the lowdown on grooming there.

1. Cut it, wax it, or leave it natural, but don’t shave it

If you want a bare ass, then my best advice is to wax it. (Or consider progressive laser hair removal with a very trusted dermatologist.) Waxing will give you the longest buffer between cleanings and the cleanest initial results. The last what you want are cheeks of sandpaper rubbing together. If you have longer ass hair than most and just want to cut it, then be my guest, but make sure you don’t cut it so short that it becomes a stubble.

Irina Gordon, owner of Dyanna Spa & Hair Removal Center in New York City says the biggest misconception around butt waxing is that many straight people have issues with the procedure, which can help reduce sweat, odor and make cleanups easier. She adds, however, that straight men are among her most loyal customers, accounting for 40% of her customers who identify as men. “Once they’ve done it and they love the results, they keep coming back,” she says. “In the summer it makes a big difference, especially if you sweat a lot.” Most people will have their entire rear end waxed, and many add a crack wax for good measure. She says to add a few days of low-key recovery for a safety buffer. “We suggest that you do not wear tight clothes after waxing or do a rigorous workout.”

2. Powder is your best helper

From chafing defense to sweat prevention to odor mitigation, get a powder-based product for your nether regions. You can get a powder-based spray, a real sheer dust-on powder, or a lotion-to-powder cream, all of which create a moisture-absorbing, chafing-fighting barrier on the skin. When it comes to the ass, this mainly means you won’t be sitting in your own stink all day, however, make sure to apply this product from the junk to the trunk all the way up to the thighs in order to get the full range advantages.

Happy Nuts Lotion-to-Powder Anti-Humidity Cream

Gold Bond Talc Free Body Powder

Gold Bond all-over powder spray

3. Consider wet wipes

Consider carrying wet wipes with you when a situation might call for it. You can buy them individually or even carry a small bundle in your work bag. These little wet wipes will save you from itches, scratches, stinks and the buildup of germs. Just do not rinse them-even if it says “rinsable” on the packaging.

Individual, disposable and biodegradable Stall Mates wipes (30 units)

Goodwipes Biodegradable Wipes Bundles (3 units, 60 wipes each)

4. Adopt the bidet

Bidets might seem like fun to those of us who didn’t grow up with them. But in both basins, these devices keep billions of cigarette butts fresh every day. And if you’re planning on installing one at home, you can get a device that summons clean water from the main water line, with pressure and angle settings to suit your preferences. . It’s a great icebreaker with curious guests, and it’s one of those “once you try it, there’s no going back” experiences in life. (It’s like a little shower for your butt every time you sit down.) Just make sure the seat fits your toilet; it is worth measuring or evaluating the shape/curvature/configuration before ordering.

TUSHY 3.0 Hot Water Bidet

heated inus, smart touch, power seat bidet with air dryer

5. Wear breathable, moisture-wicking fabrics

Sometimes the aggravator of sweat, odor and chafing is the fabric you’re wearing. There’s no reason to wear denim on a 90 degree summer day, just like there’s no point in wearing pure cotton boxers if you’re prone to swamp ass. You want a bit of stretch, quick drying and light hold; pair it with a powder-based product and your life will be changed forever.

6. Try a scrub

The right scrub on your cheeks can help prevent pimples and rough patches. After, cleanse yourself with a peppermint-tinted soap, then lather up a body lotion made with peppermint oil for the freshest tingle of your life.

Dr. Jacobs Naturals Peppermint Castile Soap (2 count)

Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Body Lotion


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